Recently someone told me that I did not look Gay. I have heard it before. I used to take it as a complement. As I thought about it, although I am sure he meant it as a compliment, it really isn’t. For years I had issues dealing with homosexuality. As I mentioned yester, the only “know” gays were people like Paul Lynde and Liberace. I knew they didn’t look like me and I asked myself, if I am gay, am I going to grow into that? As I met more and more people, my gaydar became more and more refined, I was relived to find out that I did not have to grow into that. Comments like you don’t look gay made me happy and smug. (Gardar is, according to the urban dictionary, similar to Spiderman’s Spidey-sense, except where Spiderman’s spidey-sense detects imminent danger, a gaydar detects a homosexual nearby, either thru hearing the tone of one’s voice or observing the style of their movement or other sub-conscious abilities, which sets off the realization that this person may prefer members of the same sex.)
My usual response now is to reply along the lines, “neither do you” or “and you didn’t look stupid. Should gays take it as offensive when people say that, or should we take the time to correct them on stupid comments? Along the same lines, people treat the term bottom as a pejorative term. Come on! Bottoming is fun. I said it! I own it! Yes, it hurts sometimes and can be messy, (Santorum is just not a homophobic ass-wipe). It is entertaining. There are lots of guys (In St. Pete lots and lots and lots) who only like to bottom. There are couples that are both bottoms and take turns grudgingly topping. There are also lots of tops that only like to top. Topping is fun too. But if topping is like “It’s-a-Small-World” ride at Disney, then bottoming is like Space Mountain! Why do we treat the term so negatively? I think that by doing so we are giving n to the eons of straight male thought that the person screwing is more powerful than the screwed. Ever hear of Power-bottom?
Any way, back to the original point. How should we respond to people who tell us we don’t look gay?
- “Thank-you”, and leave it at that?
- “And neither do you!”
- Ask them “What does gay look like?”
- Another option?
Clearly I am what gay looks like since I am going to continue to look like me. I am curious….