My Twentieth

This past week marked a milestone in my life. Twenty years since I met Ed Briggs. The most amazing many I have ever met.I am happy to say, now husband. I am looking forward to the summer with the Supreme Court makes us legal across the land.I met Ed in 1993 at the National March on Washing for Gay and Lesbian Rights, Or the March. Although he had been at a party I hosted the night before, so were 1800 other men. When we did meet, it was literally a one in a million chance. According to estimates there were a million people on the Mall that day to march for GLBT equality.

There were groups marching representing differing geographic locations, fetishes, sports and gender preferences. I was looking for people with the leather community when I ran into some men that I had met at a FFA party on Thursday night. Although hot, hot, men, by the time Sunday rolled around I was just plain wiped-out . That along with the fact that I had a dozen people staying in my small basement apartment meant no privacy.

In an attempt to make a graceful exit, I notice a cute little stud on the hill about 50 feet away. Feigning surprise I told the guys that I just spotted a friend that I had net seen in years. I made a bee-line over to him, gave him a hug as I whispered in his ear; “I’ll give you $20 bucks if you pretend that you know me and walk out of sight of the guys behind me. He did, we walked away together and have been walking together every day for the past 20 years. He never did ask for the $20.

The funny thing is that later when Going through pictures I had taken that day, I found a picture of him from before we met.

We spent the rest of the day together having dinner at Mr. Henry’s on Capitol Hill. In one of the first signs of Synchronicity,  one of the people staying with me during the march had been dating Ed’s friend he came to the march with. Having spent almost 19 years with this man I will have more to write about and the things I have learned. But as a quick introduction, when we met Ed was active with the Spartan Wrestling Club in Philadelphia where he lived. For the first year, one or the other of us made the trip to Philly or DC every weekend. We finally moved into together in Philly then a year later moved to Florida.

To celebrate the occasion, We spent a week in Spain. Maybe it’s a sign of age, but I preferred the city of Madrid to Barcelona.

Dave and Ed at Gaudi Park in Barcelona

JACKSON SQUARE

About twenty years ago I went to Mardi Gras and stayed with my oldest (long term) friend Scott Newman. Scott had been after me to come try this card reader. He was trying to figure her out because she was so good and on target. He thought she was the real deal. As a person who has seen and talked to dead people since I was very young I love to debunk frauds and others when ever necessary so they don’t do harm. He took me to Jackson Square where she has a booth and I paid my $20. She did a tarot spread which I recognized from doing my own readings. She looked at me and then the cards and back at me. FInally she asked if there is some one in my life – name beginning with the letter “J”. I responded “Lady that is not even a 1 in 12 shot since there are are more Jack and Judy and Janet’s than Xenna’s. She blurted back ok Jeff. I was taken back. Jeff was the name of the kid I was dating at the the time. Seems like every time one of us wanted to settle down the other one did not. Went on like this for two years. I responded back to the woman “Maybe”. not wanting to give to much away. She said that he and I had been at it for 5000 years and we still couldn’t get it right. Along with some other things she said I was convinced that she was the real deal. Before I left she said my life would be changed in a month or so. A month and a half later I met. Ed.

The story doesn’t end there. I went back for Southern Decadence that year and was walking through Jackson Square. The woman recognized me from six months earlier and wanted to read my cards again. (I don’t think she need cards to read.) I went over to her booth and was told that I was not dating that kid anymore but had indeed found a soul mate. By that time Ed and I were and solid item. So maybe after twenty years I still believe that I have a soul mate and I can relax a bit.

Welcome back

It has been several months since we have done a real up date. Mostly due to the fact that the depression returned and I didn’t want to bore you with whining. The difference is that this week I think I have reached a fork in the road and things are going to get better. Therapy is doing well. Not so much giving me answers but at least giving me the tools to help identify root problems and set goals for getting past them.

I’ve completed an article for the Watermark Newspaper that should publish soon unless they want me me to go deeper. Very interesting article, on a support group for HIV + people with addiction. I’ll post it or a link when it publishes. I learned a lot from those people and that is helping turn a corner. Bottom line for me is I let myself get out of shape and I refuse to acknowledge that I am ok over weight. I do not buy into the whole embrace your bigness.

A decade ago the bear community was made up of men who were hairy and the Mirth and girth were their own community. Somehow they merged and now we are told we need to accept the overweight as the norm. No me. My belief for some time has been that we are spirits having a human experience. One thing we need to learn is to control our bodies. This is the root of the depression in one area. I lack the discipline to get control of the body. The weight causes half my medical problems and the look causes part of the depression. I am not use to failure.

This week marks twenty years since Ed and I met. In that time I feel like I have lost 150 lbs (and gained 175) I know what I need to do so why can’t I just do it? We are celebrating this week by taking a trip to Spain. When we get back I am not dieting again. It will be a lifestyle change. Moderating processed foods and making cardio and exercise a daily habit. In the meantimes enjoy some updates from Madrid and Barcelona. Our anniversary gift to each other. I am very lucky to have found a soul mate. Maybe the next post will be about the card reader in New Orleans and her spin on Ed. Then Madrid.

I’ve Lost Three Months

I’ve lost three months of my life recently to Pristiq. Pristiq is an antidepressant that I started and from the very beginning I felt it was wrong. I lost interest in reading and writing. I lost interest in weight training and sex.  I lost three months. I knew I wanted off the drug but every web site I visited talked about listed testimonials of people who various reasons (lost insurance leading the way) have had to go cold turkey of the drug. People complain of Massive headaches and nausea and light-headedness. All of which I have experienced to one degree or another. None to an extreme or uncomfortable level.

This past week when I went to refill my prescription, I lost the new bottle. Faced with going out of pocket or cold turkey I figured I would try going, over Christmas, cold turkey without my Pristiq (I am still on Abilify). As I say So far the only thing I have noticed is last night I read 4 chapters in a new book. The Last Werewolf. While on Pristiq I was unable to read an entire page from that book. I am now driven to get back into the gym and last night took a long walk with the dogs and Ed after dinner instead of napping. I am relived to be back in sorts to a large degree. I still won’t watch the hallmark channel yet. Why ask for depression or tears. I do, for the first time in months feel in control. Something I have not felt in months.

Is that the goal of the mental health professionals, to give people socially acceptable ways of feeling numb? I thought it was to develop the tools to maintain control. I’ll keep my therapist but I am dropping my pill pusher psychologist. I want to develop my own tools for handling my life and life experiences. I don’t want to feel dead.

Why are Republicans Morons? Part 1

A lot of ink has been used in recent month examining the change in the Republican party. My take is a little different.

The R’s have become the home of the Evangelical wing of Christian churches and the former John Birchers’. The John Birchers are the most interesting additions to the party. They were the first to migrate to the party when President Nixon embarked on his southern strategy to win re-election. The John Birchers’ were previously the dixicrats or southern democrats that Nixon and the Republicans targeted.  The John Birch Society is a political advocacy group that, in their words, supports anti-communism, limited government, a constitutional republic and personal freedom. The society upholds an originalist interpretation of the U.S. Constitution, which it identifies with fundamental Christian principles, seeks to limit governmental powers, and opposes wealth redistribution, and economic interventionism. It not only opposes the practices it terms collectivism, totalitarianism, and communism, but socialism and fascism as well, which it asserts is infiltrating US governmental administration. Congressman Larry McDonald (D-Georgia), (who I worked for in 1978) then its newly appointed president, characterized the society as belonging to the Old Right rather than the New Right.

The society opposed aspects of the 1960s civil rights movement and claimed the movement had communists in important positions. The Society produced a flyer titled “What’s Wrong With Civil Rights?,” which was used as a newspaper advertisement. The group is Anti-Semitic, racist, anti-Mormon, anti-Masonic, and filled with a paranoid fervor. They are against the trilateral commission and at one time tried to tie the Queen of England to an international drug cartel. The UN’s role in the Gulf War and President George H.W. Bush’s call for a ‘New World Order’ appeared to many society members to validate their claims about a ”One World Government” conspiracy. It should surprise no one that Chuck Colson, convicted White House Aide to Nixon, (found Jesus in jail) was an architect of the Southern Strategy for Republicans as well as a supporter and leader of the Family. The “Family” is the secretive evangelical group responsible for the National Prayer Breakfast and the infamous “C Street House”. I lived in another one of their houses while in college. Sen Brownback (R-KA) in 1999, joined together with fellow Family members, Senators Strom Thurmond and Don Nickles to demand a criminal investigation of Americans United for the Separation of Church and State. They run a convert operation and have a burnt earth policy against those who challenge them.

What do these two groups have in common? Both need to feed upon people with low analytical skills and suffer some form of paranoia. The average member of each group is less educated then average and believe the world to be seen in terms of black and white, us against them. There is no room for nuance. In one group there is a constant undertone of conspiracies set to undermine their lives. The others group has that plus a belief that there are invisible forces at work that only they understand because of their special calling. There is an invisible force that created the universe and they have a special intimate relationship with. Because of this relationship they get special treasures after they die. While alive they are give a special insight into the universe. They need to see the world in terms of black and white. The Devil is out to destroy them and their way of life with temptation. This is why they eschew facts and reality because there is no proof to substitute their belief patterns in both cases. Therefore evidence base science directly challenges their belief and cause them to lash out.

(Part 2 – Why they hate education)

I’m Back

Well depression made a sudden but mercifully short comeback. Gone it is with renewed excitement I Face a blog.

I’ve had some down time recently as I had a little boo-boo at my first attempt playing softball. On the second swing at my first at-bat, bat met ball and ball went flying. I turned to run to first one long leg striding after another three steps and I heard that pop followed shortly by a thud and a bounce or two. I went down. I got up and tried to stride again to no avail. I fell.

I got up again and waddled to first and went down again. I wish I could say it was something glamorous or exotic. I tore a groin muscle and sprained my ass. I finished out the game in more comical manner hitting nice base hits, moving runners but unable to even walk to first. I also tore a muscle behind the knee. The road rash became infected and I am heavy dosing antibiotics. I just shake my head.

I will play when we get back from Toronto October 3-6. Ed is going to a conference I get to tag along.

Thanks to all those who helped get my picture votes. I ranked 4^th and I now have a photo on display at the Salvador Dali Museum in St. Petersburg Florida. Not bad for a new photographer.

On a much sadder side mom just found out at 74 that her Breast cancer has returned.  Spent a lot of time with her recently and will be back and forth to DC. She is coming to terms with loosing her breasts and will be fine.

Got a couple fun stories ahead but wanted to get this one posted as an announcement that I’m back!

Please help kick start my photo career

For readers from the beginning, you realize that I have a love of photography. Having had the opportunity to watch Robert Mapplethorpe shoot and take pictures, to early jobs with local newspapers in the Washington DC area, I love photography. Now that I am backing out of my law practice for good, I want to explore photography more. Winning this contest would be a great kick start. Please help!

The Salvador Dali museum in St. Petersburg Florida is doing a photo contest I have entered. Please go to the site to vote for my picture. (You get 1 vote per day). The winners picture will be featured in an exhibit at the Salvador Dali Museum in St. Petersburg, Florida.Please vote for it once a day. The link to the photo is embedded in the picture. I can be a pain in the ass to register to vote but worth it for me please.

Please Click on Picture to be taken to the voting and registration.

A Little Help Please

The Salvador Dali museum in St. Petersburg Florida is doing a photo contest I have entered. Please go to the site to vote for my picture. (You get 1 vote per day). The winners picture will be featured in an exhibit at the Salvador Dali Museum in St. Petersburg, FLorida.Please vote for it once a day. The link to the photo is embedded in the picture.

Please Click on Picture to be taken to the voting and registration.

 

My Week as a Missionary

After finally having my first diet coke in a week I am winging my way home from Belize to Tampa. Ed and I just completed a week in the jungles of Belize on a medical mission. Yes, I was a “missionary” and I don’t mean just the position. I have a friend who is not only an attorney but also a nurse. We have worked on several cases recently and become more that casual friends. She has built a house on the Gulf of Mexico in Belize and adopted her home city of Hopkins Bay but also a Mayan village called Red Bank. By adopted I mean she puts together groups of medical providers and others interested in helping provide health care to come of the poorest of the poor in a country of poverty. The hardest thing for me is that it is hard to find diet coke. When malnutrition is rampant and internal parasites are the norm, diet coke is not a big seller.

She does much of this with the help of churches through a 501(c)(3) organization she and some others created called the NoKumbya Mission. They chose the name because unlike the vast majority of missionaries that go into Belize, they actually do something for the people. They don’t sit around and sing by the campfire and pat themselves on the back over what great christians they are for bring the word of Jesus to the natives. They don’t get in great meaningless discussions about the dogma in a great book of mythology. They simply spend the days in clinic providing healthcare to the poor and unserved communities. Making sure that every child gets vitamins and worming pills. Infections, lice, batsi fly infestations and machete wounds treated. Pregnant woman are given prenatal drugs and kids are provided toothbrushes and iron tablets when needed. In the evening we make our way back the beach resorts and shower, eat and drink (and I do mean drink). About half the medical team identify themselves as christians of one degree or another. The rest are Pagan, agnostic or atheists.

The people are mostly happy because no one as told them that they are poor. All the neighbors are poor. As more and more Americans come and build waterfront homes (mansions to these people) there will be problems I believe. That aside I find the influx of Christian Missionaries into these areas. The main reason is that they do nothing for these people real needs. They don’t build well for clean water or roads or anything to help their daily life. As I have said before, One of my favorite lines recently is that if the US got rid of all atheists, it would lose 93% of the National Academy of Sciences but less than 10% of the prison population. 99% of the US prison population consider themselves spiritual.  “More prison inmates say they’re Baptist than any other religion.” Associated Press (The Abilene Reporter-News)

The Youth Missionaries waiting with their matching WWJD bracelets. (Who Would Jess Do?)

As you arrive at Belize airport you see large groups of all white youth mission teams coming and going with the smug satisfaction that they are the personal emissaries’ of the creator of the Universe. Coming to save the natives. The reality is they bring a movie and candy to the kids when what the kids need is a toothbrush and toothpaste. At a project in Haiti or nurse was informed by the Baptist in the clinic that she was not a real Christian. She pointed to the 7^th day Adventist across the room and told the Baptist that they probably thought the same thing about them. Degrees of Christianity? I try to live my life by the prayer of St. Francis.

It was not all work and here are a few pictures from the trip.

At the Beach on an off day

Ed shaking his booty with the local dancers

Salvador Dali

The Salvador Dali museum in St. Petersburg Florida is doing a photo contest I have entered. Please go to the site to vote for my pictures. (You get 1 vote per day). Please pick a photo and vote for it once a day. The link to each photo is embedded in the picture.