JACKSON SQUARE

About twenty years ago I went to Mardi Gras and stayed with my oldest (long term) friend Scott Newman. Scott had been after me to come try this card reader. He was trying to figure her out because she was so good and on target. He thought she was the real deal. As a person who has seen and talked to dead people since I was very young I love to debunk frauds and others when ever necessary so they don’t do harm. He took me to Jackson Square where she has a booth and I paid my $20. She did a tarot spread which I recognized from doing my own readings. She looked at me and then the cards and back at me. FInally she asked if there is some one in my life – name beginning with the letter “J”. I responded “Lady that is not even a 1 in 12 shot since there are are more Jack and Judy and Janet’s than Xenna’s. She blurted back ok Jeff. I was taken back. Jeff was the name of the kid I was dating at the the time. Seems like every time one of us wanted to settle down the other one did not. Went on like this for two years. I responded back to the woman “Maybe”. not wanting to give to much away. She said that he and I had been at it for 5000 years and we still couldn’t get it right. Along with some other things she said I was convinced that she was the real deal. Before I left she said my life would be changed in a month or so. A month and a half later I met. Ed.

The story doesn’t end there. I went back for Southern Decadence that year and was walking through Jackson Square. The woman recognized me from six months earlier and wanted to read my cards again. (I don’t think she need cards to read.) I went over to her booth and was told that I was not dating that kid anymore but had indeed found a soul mate. By that time Ed and I were and solid item. So maybe after twenty years I still believe that I have a soul mate and I can relax a bit.

Welcome back

It has been several months since we have done a real up date. Mostly due to the fact that the depression returned and I didn’t want to bore you with whining. The difference is that this week I think I have reached a fork in the road and things are going to get better. Therapy is doing well. Not so much giving me answers but at least giving me the tools to help identify root problems and set goals for getting past them.

I’ve completed an article for the Watermark Newspaper that should publish soon unless they want me me to go deeper. Very interesting article, on a support group for HIV + people with addiction. I’ll post it or a link when it publishes. I learned a lot from those people and that is helping turn a corner. Bottom line for me is I let myself get out of shape and I refuse to acknowledge that I am ok over weight. I do not buy into the whole embrace your bigness.

A decade ago the bear community was made up of men who were hairy and the Mirth and girth were their own community. Somehow they merged and now we are told we need to accept the overweight as the norm. No me. My belief for some time has been that we are spirits having a human experience. One thing we need to learn is to control our bodies. This is the root of the depression in one area. I lack the discipline to get control of the body. The weight causes half my medical problems and the look causes part of the depression. I am not use to failure.

This week marks twenty years since Ed and I met. In that time I feel like I have lost 150 lbs (and gained 175) I know what I need to do so why can’t I just do it? We are celebrating this week by taking a trip to Spain. When we get back I am not dieting again. It will be a lifestyle change. Moderating processed foods and making cardio and exercise a daily habit. In the meantimes enjoy some updates from Madrid and Barcelona. Our anniversary gift to each other. I am very lucky to have found a soul mate. Maybe the next post will be about the card reader in New Orleans and her spin on Ed. Then Madrid.